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Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

rocky34

Total Posts: 3
Joined: February 24, 2013

I'm a single 38 year old who has in the past week had my second go at falling pregnant via IUI insemination using a fertility clinic donor. I'm finding all of the emotional ups and downs quite trying as I'm obviously on my own and wondered if there was anyone else out there who was going through a similar experience and could offer (and receive in turn) support?

It is such a hard process to go through and would be nice to have others to chat to .... I found it especially hard after the first insemination - I really thought it had worked and was gutted when I found out I wasn't pregnant. It's hard trying to be positive after my recent insemination and I'm really trying to visualise that this has worked, but the fear of not being pregnant again is really playing havoc with my mind!

Words of wisdom would be much appreciated.

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Posted on April 7, 2013 at 6:31 PM
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12 Replies

jenniferhbaldwin

Total Posts: 2
Joined: January 28, 2013

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Hi, I'm a single woman (36) and just about to start my first IVF cycle with donor sperm. Dr recommended this rather than IUI due to my history. I'm really nervous about it.

I suppose my philosophy is that although it may not work, it can only possibly work if you are brave and try. It's a chance you have to take and be positive about, whilst still being realistic it might not work.

I don't know how I'll feel if it doesn't work, only time will tell. But as a single woman I think that you must be really brave and show great strength and fortitude to start this process. Even when times are tough and you feel down, remember this and know that you will be resourceful enough to continue the journey.

Also make use of counselling services, use whatever you can to get through it.

Good luck.

Posted on April 13, 2013 at 9:57 AM

maidmeg

Total Posts: 1
Joined: November 3, 2012

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Hi there

I'm a 41 year old straight single woman and this morning I successfully did my very first IVF injection on my own. I'm feeling a little bit proud right now and very hopeful that my final outcome will be successful.

Very heartwarming to know that both of you are also going through this process (both emotionally and physically). As a person doing it on their own it certainly throws up a whole lot of other tricky obstacles. I'm lucky enough to have the incredible support of friends and family and I hope you guys have some strong networks too. We're going to need it.

I, too, don't really know how I will feel if it doesn't work out but I do know with 100% certainty that to have tried and failed will be so much easier to live with than looking back wishing I'd at least given it a go while I still could.

And if it does result in the wonderful blessing of a child there's still a whole world of single parenting and potential judgement to deal with. Being sure and proud of your decisions to go it alone has got to be the first best step. My friends and family are constantly reminding me that I don't need to justify my actions to anybody. Those that know me and love me are behind me all the way and that is what is important.

I wish you both the best of luck from a very sincere place in my heart. Don't be afraid to embrace your emotions (be they good or bad) and just let them be what they are. You are not alone.

Posted on April 21, 2013 at 1:07 PM

jenniferhbaldwin

Total Posts: 2
Joined: January 28, 2013

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Great work on your first injection! I found it felt good just to finally make a start on things. Personally I didn't find the drugs too bad and have been feeling great. Lots of nice follicles so I have egg collection tomorrow.

Thanks for a wonderfully worded reply, you so are so right.

Best of luck.

Posted on May 13, 2013 at 11:03 PM

rocky34

Total Posts: 3
Joined: February 24, 2013

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Hi to both of you!

I wish you both the best of luck with your IVF cycles - this may possibly be inevitable for me too. It is grounding to know that there are other people out there going through a similar process and who are experiencing the same emotional ups-and-downs.

Like you both I do have great family support and this does really make a difference - I recently went to ground after my second IUI insemination was unsuccessful (again I'd thought it had worked) and it has taken me a wee while to pick myself up again, but I've done so! I've taken 2 months off before my next cycle to try and put myself in the best physical and emotional state possible - changing my diet radically and seeking help from a great Chinese herbalist - I'm hoping that these changes and interventions may help.

The next step is to try to work on stress levels etc related to going through this process! Easier said than done sometimes but I do really believe that your emotional state does play a really big part in this process.

Again best of luck girls and fingers crossed that you have a great outcome!

Posted on May 14, 2013 at 8:57 AM

CharlieLou

Total Posts: 2
Joined: February 1, 2015

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Hi there has been a while since anyone contributed to this topic. Was IUI successful for you? I have my first fertility appointment to discuss this option later this month and am not really sure what to expect. Any thoughts or feedback on your experience would be great.

Posted on February 1, 2015 at 8:35 PM

rhonnoes

Total Posts: 2
Joined: February 8, 2015

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Hi ladies !

I'm a 31 yr old straight single woman just getting started. I have my consultation later this month and will be looking at IUI using donor sperm.
I think I'm set on anonymous sperm based on the research I've done but I'd be interested to know if anyone is using a known donor?
I've found the book 'Knock You self Up' by Louise Sloan really helpful as it gives a good view of other women's experiences but would love to keep up to date with real NZ women's experiences since it's closer to home.

Posted on February 8, 2015 at 6:16 PM

rhonnoes

Total Posts: 2
Joined: February 8, 2015

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Hi ladies !

I'm a 31 yr old straight single woman just getting started. I have my consultation later this month and will be looking at IUI using donor sperm.
I think I'm set on anonymous sperm based on the research I've done but I'd be interested to know if anyone is using a known donor?
I've found the book 'Knock You self Up' by Louise Sloan really helpful as it gives a good view of other women's experiences but would love to keep up to date with real NZ women's experiences since it's closer to home.

Posted on February 8, 2015 at 6:17 PM

FNZ Support

Total Posts: 47
Joined: July 18, 2012

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Hi there, you may also like to look at:

• ‘You were meant to be’ children’s book
• ‘A Very Special Baby’ series of children’s books by Amanda MacLeod and Sam Taylor. Dreambaby, Napier (available through Facebook or search for Dreambaby Books). Picture books for young children, including a topic on single women using donor sperm
• Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women who are Considering Or Have Chosen Motherhood, Janes Mattes, LCSW Three Rivers Press
• Going It Alone: The Single Woman’s Guide to Pregnancy and Birth, Natasha Mirosch and Geraldine Johns, New Holland Publishers, Auckland 2003
• ‘Our Family’ children’s book
• Choosing Single Motherhood, Mikki Morrissette
• Building a Family, Ken Daniels
http://www.varta.org.au/talking-to-children-about-donor-conception-... (Australian website with good resources, videos and advice)

Hope that helps with your decision making! Nicola, Fertility NZ

Posted on February 20, 2015 at 1:35 PM

CharlieLou

Total Posts: 2
Joined: February 1, 2015

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Best of luck ladies. I'm still waiting for a donor. My husband and I are going through fertility associates and it has been 6 months now. It could still be a while yet. It's hard not to get impatient. expressionless just keeping my fingers crossed and praying that if will happen for us soon.

Posted on July 9, 2015 at 10:54 PM

Shazza

Total Posts: 2
Joined: January 19, 2017

Re: Anyone else out there going through donor sperm insemination?

Hi CharlieLou,
We are currently doing IVF with donor sperm. We waited nearly two and a half years for our name to get to the top of the list. There is a major donor sperm shortage in NZ.
Good luck. I hope you have got your donor sperm by now.

Posted on January 20, 2017 at 10:30 AM

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